Thursday, August 8, 2013

How to Kick Fear to become the Success you always dreamed of becoming

When I dare to be powerful – to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.” ~ Audre Lorde

Is fear and apprehension preventing you from becoming the success you always dreamed of becoming? Lets understand where your anxiety is coming from – and find out how you can overcome it.

What’s holding you back from achieving success? Is it a lack of talent/skill to do something worthwhile?

I doubt it!

Chances are you’ve got a compelling passion for a particular type of skill, whether it’s assisting others, developing a product, or supplying a service.

As a counselor, I’ve found that the number one reason most people never take the plunge and start working on their passion is anxiety.

Where oh where does the Fear come from?

I completely understand apprehension because I’ve experienced it myself. Many times in the very far past while was helping others to defeat personal struggles … I found that instead of feeling a sense of achievement, I was drained. I was seeing people go on to better futures and more fulfilling lives through finding their true sense of Self – yet here I was grounded, and almost resentful, after my work was done. Instead of anticipating the next successful patient, I almost shunned taking many on. I was in a dilemma and I did NOT like it one bit!

My dilemma?

When I started feeling this way a few years back, I knew there had to be a change – in my life, in the way I thought and in the way I approached my work. But at the same time, I was fearful that if I changed, the whole thing would go south and I would fail miserably.

Essentials of an effective teamwork

A team is a common platform to reach towards organization goals. Effective communication, uniteness and leadership qualities may help the team productivity. Below tips may help for effective teamwork.

 • Strong communication: Communication plays an important role and it should be free flowing and well directed towards the achievement of the team goals. The major success of any team work is great communication between team members and team leaders.

Strong leadership: Team members should follow the team lead, the effectiveness of team lead reflects in team’s work and speed of the team. An effective team leader gives importance to team goals rather than personal preferences and personal goals. He always guides his/her team in a focused way showing direction to the team members.

• Delegation of works: Assigning responsibilities to the team members as per their capacity is another major activity of team success. Effective delegation leads to the speed in work.

• Conflict management: This is an important issue in team success. Conflicts in team are common and resolving them without leaving any scar is the conflict management technique. A team lead should take care that all the team members are considered in equal way without affecting the team’s performance.

• Generate trust: Creating trust among team members strengthen the team spirit. Maintaining confidentiality about new project, running project details among team members is important as per the organization terms and conditions.

Essentials of an effective teamwork

Curiosity is the wick in the candle of learning.” William Arthur Ward

Over the past few years I have noticed myself saying a similar phrase to patients. My purpose is to make the process of therapy safe and helpful so that people can achieve their goals.  Three words sum up my philosophy of what I believe facilitates healing and growth: curiosity without judgment.

Someone who has decided to enter psychotherapy is usually curious about what is preventing them from being happier or getting what they want in their life.  But what often happens is they berate themselves or others for feelings, choices, and actions. It may be about things in the past, presently occurring, or fears about a future endeavor. The result can be a masochistic, blaming or fearful quagmire. “I should have done this." “I’ve wasted so much time.” “How could they have done that?” “What if it doesn’t work out?” This ‘stuck mind tape” is another problem in, and of itself. The net result is that a more curious stance leading to increased knowledge, action and resolution is hindered.

Curiosity without judgment does not give the self or others a “free pass” to not accept responsibility for choices, actions or behaviors. Rather it opens the door to be more fully present to really explore what is impacting present difficulties.

So what gets in the way of people being able to do that whether they are in therapy, or not?

Preconceived notions, fear of the unknown and shame or guilt about feelings, are high on the list of culprits that impede an individual’s natural curious nature. People can generalize feelings about themselves from one particular thought or action. “I’m a bad person because I did, felt or thought that.” Then instead of being curious or open to learn more, a part of them shuts down. 

Experimenting with Failure

“All life is an experiment.  The more experiments you make the better.”  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Don’t believe in failure.  The word doesn’t have a purpose or meaning in my life.

Everything I do is an experiment:  Test.  Assess the results.  Learn something and take the next step.
School and societal programming have brain-washed we into thinking that failure is bad – something to be avoided at all costs.

Because of this warped thinking, we either strive for impossible perfection or settle with mediocrity because it’s safe and we don’t think we’re up for the perfection thing.

Either way, this leaves us in the land of “not good enough” where dreams and passions are always “out there” while we’re over here, unhappy with ourselves and our lives.

Quit Fooling Yourself

We fool ourselves into thinking that we’re doing something to change this by reading the latest books, blogs and programs and getting really smart about what we should do next.

Fear of failure or success keeps us in the mode of getting ready to get ready while we’re too scared to take any real action.

We disguise our fears as reasons excuses why we can’t take action.  Too old, have a family to support, have a mortgage, not an expert (don’t know enough), already have a career….

We think that taking action has to mean bold, sweeping measures that will suddenly end life as we currently know it in order to create a completely different life.

It doesn’t have to be like that.

Top 12 Reasons You Should Combine Mindfulness and Strength

When I am at play with my 2-year-old son, I realize how precious time is and so I attempt to be as present and mindful as possible in each activity. This mindfulness spurs my strength of curiosity as I await each word and reaction from him. Curiosity brings me to want to express other strengths such as humor/playfulness to make him laugh. Not wanting to overdo my goofy humor over and over, my mindfulness increases to tune in closely to him and the other possible character strengths that might benefit him, such as love as I provide him with positive feedback, teamwork as we work together on building blocks, or zest as we jump into an upbeat activity together.

Hence, round and round mindfulness and character strengths go – each influencing the other in a positive way. This is a virtuous circle.

Until recently, mindfulness and strengths have been treated as separate areas of practice and research. My argument is that these robust areas of well-being are inseparable.

What follows is my rationale for why it is beneficial to integrate these areas. Mindfulness can help your strengths practice and strengths of character can help your mindfulness practice. 

Here’s a micro-look at what appears to be going on when we integrate these areas:

1)   Provides mindfulness practitioners a common language to capture positive states and traits, many of which are organic outcomes of mindfulness.

2)   Offers individuals who practice mindfulness a way to deal with the vexing obstacles and barriers that naturally emerge during mindfulness practices (e.g., mind wandering).

5 Tips for Motivating Unegaged Employees

Were you aware that money is not the primary motivation of your employees? While money is a large motivator for many employees — especially in a failing economy — it is often not the primary thing that motivates productivity within the workplace.

A 2011 survey conducted by the American Psychological Association showed that 25% of employees reported a lack of motivation to do their best work. In addition, only 52% reported feeling valued within the workplace. 

Motivational studies conducted from 1924-1932 at the Hawthorne Works plant in Chicago helped shine light on aspects within the workplace that motivate employees to increase productivity, maintain a positiveattitude, and display overall contentment with their careers. Results from the original study indicated that employee production was affected by a number of aspects, including changes within the work environment and noted appreciation.

The following tips have been designed to help you motivate unengaged employees to perform at top levels:
1. Engage Employees Individually

Try to engage your employees individually. While this may not be possible in instances where a large work-force is maintained, it is important that you try to individually reach out to as many of your employees as possible. Have a one-on-one meeting with employees who you think might have a little something extra to offer the company. Find out what interests them and what their passions are. You might even consider putting certain individuals in a mentor position with another employee. It is hard not to be motivated when you are responsible for someone else’s success. 

2. Show Appreciation

Lack of appreciation is one of the biggest complaints among many individuals in the workforce. Few individuals can be motivated to deliver their best work if they do not feel a certain level of appreciation is expressed for their efforts.